And you know what, Nelly just got engaged yesterday. Yeah, she’s so happy right now, Clinton finally proposed. Though having mixed feelings, she’s happy because she’s drawing closer to being married and scared because she hasn’t crossed this sort of bridge before. However, being engaged is one thing, getting married and staying married is another. Stuck in between are things to discuss before getting married.
Now, for the “Nellys” over there, and the ” Clintons”, we’re sure happy for you and we want the best for you. So, guess what, we’ve got you covered.
With the rate of divorce nowadays, it’s understandable if you’re having cold feet. That’s why we’ve prepared, just for you, 7 irresistible tips on things to discuss before getting married.
So go beckon on your love, you two then sit back on the easy-chair as we journey through it together.
1) TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES
You see my dear Nelly and Clinton, it’s a journey of two people and I guess you’ve heard the saying, ” it takes two to tangle.” Let your partner know you.
The best person to tell your spouse about you is YOU. Talk about what you like and dislike, your past, your present and the kind of future you have in mind for yourself.
My past you say? You’ve got to be joking ( guess that’s what you’re saying right now). Trust is very crucial in any relationship, especially the one that leads to marriage. First ensure that your partner knows well the present you, the transformed you so it won’t be catastrophic when you reveal the past you. And come to think of it, who doesn’t have a past?
2) TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED
See, we all have plans. DIscuss your proposed date for your wedding party with your partner and communicate your reasons.
It’s going to involve the two of you right? Then it’ll be right for the two of you to talk about when you want to get married, the year, month and if possible day.
Relax, it’s not a straightjacket. It’s more or less a template to guide you all through your preparation.
3) DISCUSS WHERE YOU WANT TO LIVE AND RAISE YOUR KIDS
We all have different aspirations, one of it being where we want to settle down with our family.
Now, environmental factors and upbringing may affect this decision. And since you two are coming from different backgrounds, it’ll be advisable you discuss, consider and conclude where you want to live and raise your kids before you walk down the aisle.
4) DISCUSS WHEN YOU WANT TO START HAVING KIDS AND THE NUMBER OF KIDS
Definitely, two of you will be actively involved in making babies. So, discuss the numbers of children you’ll like to have. Funny enough, you two might have different numbers in mind. So during this period, you discuss and conclude on the number of kids.
Actually, some prefer to start having kids immediately they get married while some will give it some time after wedlock. Either ways, it’s advisable you discuss it wwith your partner now so as to avoid problems after getting married.
5) TALK ABOUT MONEY
Yes, sure you were expecting this! You guys will be married, ceteris paribus, so it’s high time you started learning about your partner’s perspective about money, handling money, and many other whatnots.
You talk about your finances, the exact thing or things you do, what you make daily, weekly, monthly or annually. Know your partner’s pocket.
However, it shouldn’t be for the wrong reasons, but actually to know how you two can work things out as a family so you won’t shoot yourself in the leg.
6) DISCUSS SEX
Yea, you read it well! DIscuss sex. What’s your partner’s view of sex? Is he sexually attractive and the likes? Know what your partner thinks when it comes to the matter of sex.
However, be careful not to drift from other cogent matters and make this the bone of contention in every discussion you have.
7) DISCUSS YOUR EXPECTATIONS
As our faces are different, so we all have different expectations, which comes as a result of our background and exposure.
One of the top reasons why couples settle for divorce is unmet expectations. Don’t rely on the fact that he should know by now, or she should know by now. No! DIscuss your expectations. Let your partner know what you expect from him, what you expect from her when you finally get married.
To draw the curtain, the joy of getting married shouldn’t cloud your thinking and make you relegate the above mentioned points. Sit down and discuss them with your spouse now to reduce the risk of truncating your marriage.